


Warm Winters

by peaceoutofthepieces



Category: SKAM (Netherlands), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Sickfic, Snowed In, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28244901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaceoutofthepieces/pseuds/peaceoutofthepieces
Summary: They got the email about an hour later, after Lucas had changed into thick, dry clothes and settled next to Jens on the couch. He had his knees drawn up to his chest and he hadn’t said a word. Jens had no idea how to comfort him, so he hadn’t spoken, either, and then their phones had chimed in unison to tell them there was no available way in or out of the university town for the foreseeable future.Lucas buried his face in his hands. Jens squeezed his shoulder in an attempt to console him, while being entirely unable to console himself.~^~Written for the Skam Holiday Event on tumblr!
Relationships: Jens Stoffels/Lucas van der Heijden
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46
Collections: SKAM HOLIDAY EVENT 2020





	Warm Winters

It happened suddenly. 

Jens had been packing his things when Lucas came barging back into the dorm, soaked and shivering with his bag still strapped over his chest. Jens stared at him from the end of the hallway as Lucas gazed at him with wide eyes, unusually forlorn. 

“We can’t go home,” he said. 

“What?”

“The trains are cancelled. You can barely get out the dorm door. What the fuck are we going to do, Jens?”

Jens quickly walked over to him and helped him take off the heavy duffel and then his coat, shaking a hand through his hair to dispose of the snowflakes before urging him to go change his clothes. Jens watched as he peeled off his shoes, sniffling and shivering still before he crossed the small apartment and disappeared into his bedroom. 

Then he allowed himself to panic. 

Classes had finally finished up, and the two roommates had planned to go home on the same day. Jens was taking a later train by around an hour, and he’d been almost finished packing when Lucas came in. 

They had been roommates for the entire semester, and friends for longer. Jens had met Lucas near the beginning of his first year at the university, late in the night, the two of them alone in the corner of the library, cramming for their respective assignments. They had been hyped up on caffeine and unusually open in their drowsiness, and from that evening forward they had become friends. They made a point of meeting up in their free time, just on campus at first and then further out. Their friend groups mingled well and allowed them to merge without abandoning any other part of their lives. But as much as Jens liked Kes and Jayden and as well as Lucas got on with Sander and Robbe, there were clear pairs between them all. Jens and Lucas were the center of the group, the friendship that knit the others together, and obviously closest to each other. 

It had made sense when their second year came rolling around and they had managed to stay in touch over the summer that they would stick together, when they both failed to get a single dorm. Lucas and Jens had managed to get an apartment with two small bedrooms and an open kitchen/living space, as well as a tiny bathroom. 

They knew each other well enough to cohabit the space and not get on each other’s nerves. Jens also knew Lucas well enough to understand why he might be freaking out about not getting home to his mother. 

He also knew that somewhere in the past four months of living together, or possibly even earlier than that, that his ‘friendship’ with Lucas could no longer be considered entirely amicable. On his side, at least. His feelings had extended to the point that living together became a little concerning, and he’d begun to seek an escape more and more frequently. 

Being snowed in with the boy, as was now the situation, wasn’t exactly ideal. 

They got the email about an hour later, after Lucas had changed into thick, dry clothes and settled next to Jens on the couch. He had his knees drawn up to his chest and he hadn’t said a word. Jens had no idea how to comfort him, so he hadn’t spoken, either, and then their phones had chimed in unison to tell them there was no available way in or out of the university town for the foreseeable future. 

Lucas buried his face in his hands. Jens squeezed his shoulder in an attempt to console him, while being entirely unable to console himself. 

The first couple of days went fine. It was strange, being in the apartment together all day with nowhere else to be and little to do, but it wasn’t so unusual that it was uncomfortable. They managed. They called their parents first, and kept up with them everyday, in between video-calls to their respective friends. Occasionally they’d sit together on the couch or on one of their beds and have a group call with the others, but mostly it was a chance to have some time on their own. Lucas closed himself away sometimes and drew obsessively, and Jens disappeared to get lost in his music now and again, but they spent most of their time providing company for the other. They had every meal together, watched whatever movies or shows they could find, played video games and smoked, and they managed. 

Then on the third day, Lucas walked out of his room later than usual, sweaty and shivering. His cheeks were flushed and his hair matted, and he dropped into the chair across from Jens at their two-person table with a miserable sound. “I feel like shit.”

The cough that wracked his body immediately after simply emphasised his point. 

Jens was leaning over the table in a heartbeat and pressing a hand to his forehead, feeling for a temperature and finding none. “I don’t think you have a fever,” he said carefully. Lucas hummed and coughed again and Jens tried very hard not to panic. “What hurts?”

“Throat,” Lucas said instantly. “Head. Nose keeps running too.”

“Chest?”

“Only sometimes, like if I cough really bad.”

This meant it was probably manageable, and most likely just a very harsh cold, and Jens had no reason to be as worried as he was. But if Lucas had caught the flu, and the conditions only worsened until he got sick with a fever, Jens would worry more. It was the most inconvenient timing. Jens couldn’t get out of the building, never mind go to a pharmacy. He couldn’t get Lucas anything as simple as cough drops or cold medicine. He wouldn’t even be able to get some kind of soothers for his throat. 

He was helpless and he could feel it as Lucas curled in on himself in the corner of the couch and spent the day in a half-doze. 

Jens managed to force a few meals into him, light foods that wouldn’t be too harsh on his throat and wouldn’t upset his stomach should the sickness extend. He spent the day fretting over the boy’s temperature and cursing the snow still battering at the windows. Lucas watched him in vague amusement, though Jens could tell he was putting up a front for his benefit. 

They spent the day on the couch, watching more TV. Lucas sat with his legs drawn up again and head tilted back against the cushions. He sniffed and sneezed and coughed every few minutes, and instead of having the urge to run away, Jens had to resist the temptation to bundle him into his arms and attempt to fend the cold off with his touch. 

It had been dark for a few hours, and Lucas had yawned a countless number of times before Jens pressed a hand to his forehead again and Lucas huffed at him. “I’m fine, Jens.”

“You’re not, though.” His skin still wasn’t hot, and it left Jens breathing a small sigh of relief, even though he wasn’t entirely satisfied. “Maybe you should go to bed. Do you still have a headache?”

Lucas hummed. “It’s not too bad, though. And it’s only eight. I don’t need to go to bed.” He yawned again. 

“Do you want something else to eat? I could make you soup?”

“Do we even have soup?” Lucas raised an eyebrow. 

“I can check. Will you eat some if we do?”

Lucas considered him for a moment, then acquiesced with a small nod and shrug. Jens pushed himself to his feet and made his way across the space to the cupboards. He rifled through them for any remaining packets of soup, and kept an eye out for a hidden box of painkillers while he was there. He had searched this morning for almost half an hour and hadn’t found any in the kitchen or either of their rooms, and it made him feel worse to think Lucas had no help at all to ease his suffering. Each shiver and shudder and wince tugged at his heartstrings and made him feel even more ridiculous. He wasn’t used to being so soft, so affected by anyone else. 

Yet here he was, turning their shared apartment upside down because his friend had a cold. 

He returned to Lucas about ten minutes later, defeated, but paused in his tracks at the sight of the boy. Lucas had stretched himself out slightly, legs extended along the couch and head pillowed on a cushion he had propped against the arm. His eyes were shut and his breath slow and even, lips and lashes fluttering. Sound asleep. 

It shouldn’t have been his initial thought, but Jens couldn’t help but be struck by how beautiful he was. 

He swallowed the notion down and crept closer, brushing a few curls out of Lucas’s face as he swept his gaze over him. It was a little worrying that he’d fallen asleep so quickly, and in what didn’t seem to be the most comfortable position. Jens thought he could probably carry him to his bed, but not without disturbing his slumber. He looked at how Lucas had his hands tucked close to his chest and his legs still curled up, watched the small tremors that continued to run through him, and then headed to Lucas’s room. 

There he pulled Lucas’s thick duvet off the bed. He gathered it awkwardly into his arms before making his way back to the living space, bumping into the door and the walls as he went. He let it unroll towards the ground about a foot away to avoid having it fall on top of Lucas, and then draped it over his thin form. He tucked one edge down behind his body and let the other hang off the front of the couch, so that Lucas was cosily covered from chin to toe. He held the back of his fingers to the boy’s forehead again, then his cheek, and let out a sigh. 

It would have been easier to manage, if they weren’t trapped. Jens knew Lucas would probably get the best care at home, and that was likely where he wanted to be, but Jens couldn’t say he would rather be rid of him. He didn’t mind taking care of Lucas, but he would have liked to have better resources. He knew it would be better for the boy, not to have to stay here. 

Jens himself had been disappointed at the prospect of not getting home when planned. He missed his parents and his pets and even his sisters, and it always felt extra special being with them in the lead up to the holidays. Jens hadn’t even seen the Christmas tree or finished buying their presents. He knew that his mother especially was worried and missing him, and that Lies was claiming to be bored without him, and he wished he could be at home when he allowed himself to think about it. 

But it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, either, to be spending this time with Lucas. After the initial fear, Jens had felt elated at the mere prospect of it. Getting these few extra days with Lucas, entirely alone together, was something Jens had only dreamed about. 

He wasn’t at all surprised that it already wasn’t going to plan. 

He heaved another sigh and collected a cushion from the opposite end of the couch, dropping it on the floor. He collected the blanket off the back of the armchair as well before settling down with his back to the front of the couch, butt perched on the cushion and blanket draped around his shoulders and head resting back near Lucas’s chest. He put on another episode of the show they had been watching and tried to put himself at ease, hoping that Lucas would feel better by the time he woke up. 

He migrated to his own bed after a few hours when Lucas still hadn’t stirred, but found the couch empty when he got up in the morning. He peeked into the other boy’s room to find him safely tucked up in bed, snoring lightly. 

The news came in through another email before Lucas awoke that the snowstorm was only worsening, and the lockdown situation would extend for at least another few days. 

It left Lucas eventually leaving his room in a melancholy state, but looking decidedly less miserable than the day before. He dropped onto the cushions next to Jens and slumped, still letting out a sniff. “This sucks.”

“Are you okay?” Jens questioned. “How are you feeling?”

Lucas sighed. “Better than yesterday. A little more rested, at least, so my head doesn’t hurt anymore.” He shot a sideways glance at Jens, softening slightly. “Thanks, by the way. For last night. I would’ve woken up freezing my balls off otherwise.”

Jens snorted, but smiled gently at him. “We couldn’t have that.”

Lucas returned the smile, tilting his head against the back of the couch. He rubbed at his nose and cleared his throat, tugging his sleeves down over his hands. He was wearing his soft pink sweater today along with his grey sweats, and looked awfully cuddly. 

Jens tore his attention away, back to where the TV was playing a crime documentary he didn’t recognise, until Lucas spoke again. 

“Thanks in general, for all of this. Not even just helping with the cold, but helping me not freak out. I wouldn’t be managing this at all with anyone else.”

It made Jens’s heart ache and flutter at once. He knew how easily Lucas got caught up in his own head, and that he was likely struggling at the moment. He was pleased to know that he was making it somewhat easier on Lucas, somehow. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m just glad to have you, too. Imagine you got away in time and I was just stuck here on my own.”

Lucas’s expression fell. “I hadn’t even thought of that.” He turned sideways in his seat, drawing his feet up to set them in Jens’s lap and leaning back against the armrest behind him. “Okay. Now I’m a little more glad I’m here.”

Jens smiled at him again, and placed his hands on Lucas’s ankles after a few, too-long moments of consideration. “Me too.”

“I’d definitely rather be snowed in with you than anyone else. Can you imagine being locked up with Jayden for who knows how long?”

Jens snorted. “He’d keep you entertained, at least.”

“No way,” Lucas groaned. “I think Kes is the only person on the planet who could handle that and even then he’d struggle.”

Jens hummed, thinking of his own friends, and admitted, “I think the only one I could manage aside from you would be Robbe. And even then he’d spend the whole time whining about how much he misses Sander.”

“I miss Sander,” Lucas said, as if only coming to the realisation, exaggeratedly upset. 

Jens pinched his shin and grinned as Lucas whined at him. “But you’d miss me more.”

He looked over as Lucas hummed, just in time to see him nod slightly with a smile set on his face. “I would,” he easily agreed. 

It was exactly what Jens wanted to hear, and yet it made him falter. He cast his eyes over Lucas’s face, heart thrumming, and Lucas gazed back with his familiar warmth. It made Jens wonder, now as well as on various other occasions. He couldn’t help but imagine it, hope for it, that Lucas reciprocated even half of the feelings that constantly spread and expanded in his own chest. It was simply another dream, one that Jens didn’t let himself entertain too often, knowing that he would only set himself up for more heartache. 

Lucas was friendly with Jens, overly so, and affectionate, and he made enough comments to seem slightly suspicious, to come off as borderline flirty. There seemed to be something, sometimes, in the looks exchanged between them and the lingering touches they shared. But Lucas had never given him any concrete reason to suspect his feelings went beyond that of a roommate and a friend. 

Then there was now, with Lucas’s feet in his lap and Lucas’s eyes trained on his lips, and Jens’s heart picked up. 

Then Lucas coughed into his elbow and dropped his head back with a groan, before leaning against the backrest once more and looking hopefully at Jens. “I still feel too shit to do anything but I’m so bored.”

Jens raised his brows. “Are you asking me to entertain you?”

“Please?” Lucas batted his eyelashes at him, and then had to sneeze before sitting with his face screwed up in discomfort. 

Jens patted his ankles and waited for him to lift his feet away before standing. He went to his room and hoisted his keyboard off his desk, knowing it was what Lucas was quietly hoping for. The boy lit up as Jens left his room and returned to his side, balancing the instrument in his lap and turning to Lucas expectantly. 

“Anything,” Lucas said before he could ask. “Play whatever you want. I just like listening to you.”

Jens sets his fingers to the keys and played. 

This lasted for around an hour, with Jens messing up a few times under Lucas’s gaze and Lucas softly smiling all the while. Then Jens got up to make them lunch, and they sat on the couch and ate the toasted sandwiches and made small conversation. 

Lucas took a long sip of the water Jens had poured for him, fingers tapping against the glass. “This wouldn’t bother me at all if I wasn’t worried about my mom.”

Jens took a bite of his food, giving himself a few extra seconds to think of a response. “You’ve been calling her every day, right? How is she?”

“I don’t know,” Lucas sighed. “She seems okay. But the thought of leaving her alone over Christmas...I hate it.”

“Hey.” Jens shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. That’s still a good few days away, anything could happen before then. You need to just take it one day at a time.”

Lucas shut his eyes. “I know. It just sucks.”

“I know,” Jens agreed quietly. He wished he could provide more comfort. He wished he could gather Lucas into his arms and kiss the sadness off his face. He was sure it would only make things worse. 

Instead he made sure Lucas finished his food and then got him another glass of water as Lucas returned to his room long enough to dig out a packet of cards. 

They played for a while, bringing back every game they could think of. It led to multiple rounds of laughter and a few instances of bickering, Jens accusing the older boy of cheating and Lucas laughing in response. It was easy and comfortable and fun, and Jens spent more time watching the smile on Lucas’s face than the cards in his hands, losing over and over as a result. He didn’t mind. It only made Lucas smile wider. 

The only thing about this situation that sucked was that Jens was falling harder with every passing minute, and Lucas seemed entirely clueless. 

It wasn’t until the fifth night that something changed. 

Jens was already half-asleep, the covers tucked close around his neck and his eyes closed, when there was a quiet knock on his door. It creaked open to reveal a sliver of light and Lucas, who poked his head in and searched the dark space for Jens. Jens sat up enough to turn on his lamp as Lucas came in and closed the door behind him, wrapping his arms over his chest. 

He bit at his bottom lip as he crept towards the bed, looking at Jens nervously. “My room is fucking freezing and I’m anxious and have no idea why and all the noise isn’t helping. Can I just—could I lie with you for a while?”

Jens pulled back the covers without a word, heart thumping as Lucas crawled into the empty side of the bed with a relieved sigh. Jens watched him with a racing pulse as he snuggled against the pillows, his brilliant blue eyes bright but tired as they settled on Jens’s. The twin bed was big enough to fit both of them, but not to leave much space in between. Lucas’s warmth radiated easily across the space, and Jens felt tugged towards it by a gravitational pull. 

He remained stiffly in his place as Lucas murmured, “Thanks.”

Jens simply nodded. “Do you want to sleep here for the night?”

Lucas hesitated. Before Jens could hurriedly take the question back and feel overly embarrassed, Lucas responded. “Would that be okay?”

He sounded hopeful, genuinely worried enough to leave Jens instantly nodding his head, hoping to brush off Lucas’s concerns. “Of course,” he whispered. “Is everything okay?”

Lucas shrugged. He was still recovering from his cold, and there were bags under his eyes and cracks in his lips to provide proof of his struggles. He looked exhausted and weary, but some of the weight seemed to slip away as Jens tucked the covers up over his shoulder, fingertips only an inch off his chin. Lucas smiled and shifted a tiny bit closer, huddling into the warmth, and Jens quickly pulled both his hands into his chest. 

They lay in silence for a few moments with Jens’s question floating between them, unanswered. He wondered if Lucas was content enough to fall asleep without responding at all, but then he spoke quietly into the space with his eyes downcast. 

“Are you upset being here? With me, I mean.” Lucas’s nerves were still present, visible in his flitting gaze and the flutter of his hand as it curled over the top of the duvet. 

It instantly made Jens frown. “Of course not. To be with you? Why would that upset me?”

Lucas shrugged without offering a response. 

“Luc,” Jens said softly. “Don’t be a dumbass. I’m pretty sure I’m almost happier to be here with you than at home.”

“The more you exaggerate the less I’m going to believe you.”

Jens shook his head. “I’m not exaggerating.” There was a pause. He wondered where this insecurity had come from, and if it was pushing Lucas’s desire to be close, to invade Jens’s space in the dead of the night in search of comfort. “If I have to spend my Christmas without my family then I’m glad I’m spending it with you. There’s no one else I’d rather be with.”

It felt like too much. The admittance would surely give him away; it went beyond the lines of friendship, and Lucas was surely going to notice and then run for the hills. Jens would never allow himself to say such a thing on any other occasion. 

It felt easier, when Lucas seemed to be the one feeling vulnerable. He looked small in Jens’s bed, young in the soft glow of the lamp light, and Jens’s instincts urged him to comfort, to cradle and reassure, to fend off any and all of Lucas’s demons with his bare hands. He would say whatever the boy needed to hear, even if that meant baring more than he was usually comfortable with. 

It didn’t do anything more than make Lucas smile, and Jens couldn’t fault such an outcome. “Really?” he asked quietly. 

“Really,” Jens whispered back. 

Lucas was quiet for a moment, then he breathed, “Sometimes I don’t think you’re real. I don’t know how the universe decided to give me you. That I deserved it.”

Jens’s heart stuttered. “I bet you have to put up with me in a bunch of universes. I’d say they’re harsh like that.”

“I think the kindest thing it’s done is give me you,” Lucas said. 

What was Jens supposed to do with that? What did Lucas mean? Was _this_ universe even real, right now?

“Pretty shitty of it to do this to you, though,” Jens said, ignoring everything he wanted to ask.

Lucas shook his head. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “I still think it’s doing me a favour.”

Jens’s throat felt clogged. He had no idea how he was going to speak. He managed just a few words. “How so?”

Instead of responding, Lucas closed his eyes. Another shiver wracked him, and then a cough, and when he settled he was closer to Jens than before, both resting on the insides of their pillows. Jens flicked his gaze over Lucas’s face, looking for answers and being unable to decipher anything other than that the boy really was as beautiful as Jens knew. Jens adored everything, from his increasingly messy curls to his delicate lashes, his cheekbones and the sharp line of his jaw, the slope of his nose and the curve of his lips. Especially his lips. 

They twitched now under his attention, and Lucas’s tongue darted out to lick over them before he spoke again. “I’m really lucky it’s you.”

Jens wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, and he had no idea how to respond. Instead he lay and stared at the boy next to him, until Lucas’s breath evened out and the rise and fall of his chest slowed. He was a silent sleeper when the cold wasn’t hindering him, breaths barely audible in the small room. Jens couldn’t help but eliminate another millimeter of space just to hear them better, to be sure that Lucas was a live being next to him. He eventually fell asleep with the image imprinted inside his eyelids, taking him into dreams of a familiar smile and that brilliant blue gaze. 

They woke up tangled together, to the news that the snow would be cleared by the following day and the trains once again up and running. 

Their reaction to the former was to leave it unacknowledged, and to the latter rather somber. Jens expected Lucas to be full of relief, to light up with joy and excitement at the promise of getting home for Christmas, but his smile was quiet and his eyes oddly sad. 

The day passed in the same dreary mood, neither of them as eager to pass the time as they had been for the rest of the week. They didn’t speak much, but spent the entirety of the time in the same space. 

Jens no longer wanted to go home and leave his feelings unspoken. 

Something had changed between them. It had opened up the night before, but it had been growing the past few days, over this period of time that they’d been forced closer than ever before. Jens had gotten to know Lucas even better when all he’d been allowed to do was watch him. Lucas was even sweeter than expected, and it came out in his exhaustion, in the softness of his tired smiles, and the slow, light touches he granted. He was also grumpier than even Jens realised, but his grumbling and snark somehow made him even more adorable, at least in Jens’s eyes. 

He was sulking slightly now, making himself a coffee at the kitchenette, adding his usual unhealthy amount of sugar. Jens was constantly resisting the urge to get closer, to wrap him up and poke his cheek and drag his smile back out. It was ridiculous. Jens didn’t get _crushes_ like this. It didn’t concern him that Lucas was a boy—he’d come to terms with that before meeting him, and he’d found Lucas attractive right away and thought very little of it. He didn’t fall for every pretty boy he saw. He’d had no reason to worry about Lucas back then. 

Which he now realises was pretty stupid of him. 

“Do you want a cup?” Lucas asked softly. 

It shook Jens out of his daze. Lucas had turned around to face him, leaning back against the counter and watching Jens where he was standing in the middle of the floor like an idiot. He took a seat instead, sitting sideways with his back to the wall and his arm propped on the table as he nodded. Lucas turned back around to pour him a cup, stirring in the one spoonful of sugar and sprinkle of milk that Jens liked. Jens watched him with an overly fond gaze, his heart in his throat. 

Lucas placed the coffee in front of him and plopped down in the empty seat, moodily staring down into his mug. Jens fixed his gaze on the boy’s hands, cradling the cup close to his chest and running a fingertip around the rim absentmindedly. He got stuck there, staring at the curve of Lucas’s knuckles, at the rises and dips of his veins and bones and the glint of his ring. 

He curled his own hands around his mug and blew the steam away before taking a sip, forcefully diverting his gaze. At Lucas’s thick cough, he looked at him again, worry clogging him as he twisted around to kick the boy’s ankle under the table. “You okay?”

Lucas licked his lips and then nodded slowly. He looked over at Jens, and Jens was reminded of the night before, when Lucas had watched him with a sort of indiscernible hope, inches away in his bed. 

“Aren’t you happy about getting home?” Jens prodded. “You were really upset when you thought you wouldn’t.”

“I am. Of course.” He looked back down into his coffee, parting his lips as if to say something else before resolutely shutting them again. 

“Is there a but?”

“I just…” Lucas swallowed. “No, nothing.”

“Luc,” Jens urged softly. “Tell me.”

“It’s just, what you were saying before. About if I had got home and you were left behind. I realised I really wouldn’t want that.”

Jens’s heart thrummed, and he held his expression carefully, even though Lucas still wasn’t looking at him. “Okay? But you aren’t doing that. I’ll get home, too. We can probably even leave at the same time this time. Go to the station together.”

Lucas hummed, then set his mug on the table and turned in his seat to face Jens head-on, though he kept his eyes down. “No, I know. I just mean...I’d kind of stuck on the idea of spending Christmas with you. With just us.”

Jens blinked. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Lucas mumbled. 

“So then...this must be a relief, right?” Jens laughed, unsure of what else to do, and Lucas finally looked up at him. It wasn’t what Jens expected. Those blue eyes were sad, and the twist to his lips was almost irritated. 

Lucas rose to his feet, abandoning his coffee, and brushed past Jens to his room with a mumbled, “Whatever. I’m going to go pack.”

Jens sat stock still for a moment, staring into his cup, and then he looked over his shoulder to where Lucas had disappeared and chased after him. The boy had already shut his door, so Jens knocked, and when he got no answer simply opened the door. 

Lucas was tossing things into his suitcase in an unusually disorganised fashion. He huffed as he saw Jens and threw his shirts more vigorously, making them sprawl over the edges of the case. Jens watched him, bewildered, and struggled to find the words to demand that Lucas explain. 

“Have I done something?” Jens questioned. “Why are you pissed?”

Lucas ignored him, tugging more clothes off hangers, and Jens walked into the room and set a hand on his shoulder, wheeling him around. 

Lucas glared at him as he demanded, “Hey, what the hell is wrong with you? Is the cold still fucking with your head, or something?”

“This is what I don’t get,” Lucas said, batting his hands away. “You’re so...fucking _confusing_ , and I’m tired of getting my hopes up and making myself look stupid.”

“What? Luc, what are you talking about?”

“This.” Lucas waved his hands at him, exasperated. “You have literally no idea. But you...you take care of me and you comfort me and you let me sleep in your bed and tell me there’s no one else you’d rather be with. Then we wake up and you don’t say anything. I tell you that I’m lucky the universe gave me you and you don’t even notice. It’s all just...normal to you, just us being friends, but I can’t just act like that anymore, Jens.”

Jens froze. He internally cursed himself. Of course, he had been too obvious. Of course Lucas had caught on. Jens was a terrible person. He should have known it would lead to this—that he would lose Lucas eventually. He should have had more control. He was a little confused as to what Lucas meant, about him not noticing Lucas’s comments the night before. As if they hadn’t been spinning through his head ever since. “I’m really fucking sorry, Luc. I never meant to make you uncomfortable.”

Lucas finally stopped his violent packing to blink at him. “What? Are you serious?”

“Uhm,” Jens hesitated, lost. 

“Fine,” Lucas sighed out, casting his gaze down. “I don’t know what else I expected you to say, anyway. I know you don’t feel the same. I guess I honestly thought I’d be the one apologising.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean, I don’t feel the same?”

Lucas stared at him. “What do _you_ mean?”

“That...I’m sorry,” Jens said slowly. “I should have been better at keeping my crush to myself until I got over it. I never wanted to make you mad or uncomfortable or anything.” His voice got lower as he spoke, his throat tightening as his eyes strayed from Lucas’s. His heartbeat picked up as the silence stretched between them. 

Then Lucas choked, “ _Crush_?”

Jens looked back up at him and blinked at the shock on his face. “Yeah...that’s what you’re mad about, right?”

“I—“ Lucas stuttered, straightening his spine. “I’m not mad at all. But you—I’m just—what are you talking about? Do you _like_ me?”

Jens had most definitely gotten lost, somewhere amidst the conversation, and now he could only stare at the boy in confusion, realising he’d laid his feelings bare on his own. Lucas hadn’t been aware of Jens’s crush, but there was no hiding it now. “Yeah,” he mumbled. 

For a moment they were caught in a stare-off, Jens’s heartbeat growing painful as Lucas simply watched him, blank-faced. Then Lucas was right in front of him, stepping into his space and gazing up at him in disbelief, eyes shining. 

“What did you mean, then?” Jens questioned hesitantly. “Do you...like _me_?”

Lucas huffed, his lips curling up in a smile as he shook his head. “You really are a dumbass.”

Before Jens could protest, Lucas was muffling any possible words with a kiss. Jens’s heart stuttered as Lucas pressed his lips against his, trailing his hands up into Jens’s hair and curling them in the short strands at his nape, letting out a sigh as Jens reciprocated. He settled his hands on Lucas’s waist, as soon as he escaped his shock, and drew him in closer. It was a dream, to have Lucas like this at last, warm and close, reactive under Jens’s hands and attentive to their kiss. He had, after all, initiated it. 

_Lucas was kissing him._

Jens felt giddy, and then felt ridiculous for it and attempted to squash it down. But his smile spread, even with Lucas’s tongue in his mouth, and before he could feel embarrassed about it Lucas was just as bad, giggling against Jens’s lips as Jens wrapped his arms tightly around him. He’d been wishing to do the simple action for so long, and he decided now that he’d been right to, given how good it felt to have Lucas melting against him, tucking his head into Jens’s neck and pressing another kiss there. 

“What the fuck?” Jens said, laughing as well, hugging Lucas tightly as the boy wound his arms around his shoulders. 

“I think,” Lucas said slowly, “that we’ve both been kinda stupid.”

“I think I should’ve locked you up with me ages ago.”

Lucas snorted, lifting his head away to look at him. He was absolutely beaming. It was a beautiful sight. “That’s not creepy at all.”

“Might have worked, though.”

“You could have just told me,” Lucas pointed out.

Jens pursed his lips and shook his head in denial. “I had no idea it would work out like this. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lucas accepted that with a wave of his head, then smiled wider before kissing Jens again. This one was even softer, lips barely brushing lips, and it spread down through Jens’s chest and filled him with warmth. He could admit that perhaps he was a bit of an idiot—that they both were—but brushed the thought aside as relief consumed him. It didn’t matter that they could have spent the past few strange days wrapped up like this, making it easier on each other, when they had it right now. Lucas was well worth all the confusion and the heartache and the waiting. Jens was almost buzzing with how ecstatic he felt, pleased beyond belief to finally be kissing his friend. 

“Shouldn’t be doing this,” Lucas murmured, leaning back suddenly, grinning as Jens chased him. “You’ll get the cold.”

“Don’t care,” Jens dismissed, attempting to tug him forward again, groaning when Lucas resisted. “Seriously? Even if I remind you this is our last night alone now?”

Lucas paused, his smile slipping slightly. He pressed against Jens again with a sigh, playing with the ends of his hair. “Now I actually don’t want to go home.”

“You do. You’ll be happy once you get there.” Jens kissed his nose, amazed that he was now allowed to do so, heart fluttering as it made Lucas’s face scrunch up. “And I’ll still be with you. You can text me, call me.”

“But not kiss you,” Lucas sighed. “Even though we’ve just started.”

“Well,” Jens raised his brows, “you haven’t left yet.”

Lucas bit his lip, tilting his head up. “That’s true.”

“So, you can probably get a few more in.”

Lucas hummed. “Probably.”

“If you want to, of course.”

Lucas leaned closer, bumping his nose against Jens’s as his smile returned. “Definitely,” he whispered, before kissing Jens again.


End file.
